


lapsus linguae

by FemaleSpock



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dysfunctional Relationships, Established Relationship, Hux and Kylo are bad at feelings, Hux is Not Nice, Kylo Is a Little Shit, M/M, Smut, Speeches, Verbal Humiliation, in that they think that giving a blowjob is like the most depraved thing ever, let's say it's because they don't want stormtroopers taking off their helmets, the first order has much the same social mores as the roman republic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:27:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemaleSpock/pseuds/FemaleSpock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the destruction of Starkiller base, Snoke and Hux agree that the best thing for morale would be to blame the whole mess on Kylo Ren. Hux gives a speech to denigrate him before the entirety of the First Order but Kylo does not quite respond to it as expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lapsus linguae

Warnings for: slut-shaming, sexism, a vague/mild allusion to incest, references to prostitution . A lot of the speech is plagiarised directly from Roman political invective so yeahhhhh, don’t expect progressive values here.

 

Hux stood on the podium and allowed himself one last moment of hesitation, one last breath before he spoke. He had no reason for doubt: Snoke had suggested it himself. Kylo Ren was not going to be around for a good long while so public opinion of him didn’t really matter, if indeed it ever had (Hux had a sneaking suspicion that Snoke didn’t really plan on keeping Kylo around once they succeeded in conquering the galaxy but he preferred not to think about that). He couldn’t let his personal feelings – if he had any – get in the way of his duty to the Order.

 

He began to speak, projecting his voice out into the sea of Stormtroopers in identical white armour. “I have called you here to announce that we have ousted the menace in our midst – Ren will leave today and we will be strong again! With Kylo Ren in exile, we will be able to rebuild the Order from the ground up. We will recreate the weapon that set fire to the galaxy and regain our rightful place as keepers of the peace. But I have gotten ahead of myself. Many amongst you may be unaware of the true nature of this figure that has no true place in our Order.”

 

In his peripheral vision he could see a shadow move up to stand behind pillars, hidden from the audience but not from Hux. He didn’t need to look to see who it was.

 

“For instance, you may wonder why Kylo Ren makes the effort to hide his face behind a mask – unlike you fine troopers, he has not the pride of uniform to justify his appearance. Indeed, he cavorts around in tattered black rags without so much of a hint of shame at the lack of proper discipline. Well the answer is simple: he wishes to hide the evil of his countenance from the rest of you. I, however, have had the misfortune to look upon his face and I can tell you that his character would be quite apparent to all of you, should he find the courage to remove that monstrosity. But since he will not, I shall describe it to you. His nose is crooked, off-centre, unbalanced and I’m sure many of you would attest to the instability of his personality. His face is also marred by moles, scattered over his skin, indicative of his flecked character. That is to say nothing of his mouth, which he takes such pains to hide, which reveals depravity that would be indecent for a man such as I to speak of further.”

 

There was the slightest of sounds from the sidelines, too ambiguous for Hux to tell what it was – outrage? Anger? He ignored it and decided to change tack: he’d exhausted that line of attack anyway. He did not want it to appear as if he had spent hours staring at the man’s face.

 

“We must now turn our attention to his associates: the so called ‘Knights of Ren.’ They are friends not because of any business interest, nor from practicality as you might assume, but from the baseness and similarity of their pursuits. Of course there are some things of which I cannot decently speak, so I shall pass over without comment the incident in which Ren and his associates drunkenly danced at a formal event whilst the Admiral’s son was present.  These Knights, so violent and depraved, have learnt not only to fight, but to administer poisons like cowards. Now let us look more closely at these men whom Ren calls friends. Let us take for example, Marcius Ren, a man who has not the heart to repel the obscene impurity of men from the purest portion of his person.”

 

He paused to allow the implication that Kylo Ren was similarly inclined to such to activity to sink in. He hoped that the troops would make the connection to his prior comment about the man’s lips but a lot of them seemed to struggle to understand anything that wasn’t a direct order. Hux couldn’t exactly blame them – they were conditioned that way after all. He took this moment to catch his breath and allow himself the slightest of glances at the dark figure standing by the edge of the stage, seemingly impassive against the torrent of abuse falling from Hux’s lips. He shifted slightly, indicating that he had seen Hux looking but did nothing more. Hux looked back ahead but he could feel Kylo’s burning gaze on him.

 

“To say nothing of Johnil Ren and the incident in which he vomited in his mask after indulging in one of the Knights’ private parties, held at the expense of the Order, I might add. Someone might say: ‘how did you find out all this?’  Well there is a certain droid who serves him and reports on his most shameful actions with the unbiased simplicity one expects of a mechanical being,” he continued, refusing to be intimidated by Kylo’s continued lurking presence. It wasn’t as if Kylo didn’t deserve this after he had completely fucked up everything they had been working for. In fact, that brought him nicely to his next point.

 

“Let us now turn to his recent failures of which I am sure you are all already quite aware. The First Order has been working towards the most noble goal of creating stability and peace in the galaxy and he had thrown it away in his pitiful attempts to find and capture his mother’s husband – brother, I meant to say, I am always making that mistake.” He was dimly aware of the fact that the troopers were unlikely the catch the reference, the masses being most ignorant of Kylo’s true identity, but the sudden sound of a fist hitting up against a pillar was enough to justify its inclusion.

 

“He returned from his failure to lay himself prostrate himself before the supreme leader and beg for forgiveness. No boy bought for the gratification of passion was ever so wholly in the power of his master as he is in Snoke’s. Now he has been exiled until he can complete the task. He is running off, like a coward, into the night to continue his fruitless quest, whilst we continue the truest work of the Order. But it is of no matter, under my leadership, we shall see the Order reborn, strong again. This I swear to you!”

 

The stopped and on signal the troopers punched a single fist into the air. He stood there for a moment and allowed himself to revel in the success of the speech. When he finally turned his head to look to the side of the stage, Kylo was already gone. He ignored the tightening sensation in his stomach as he walked off stage to the controlled applause he had come to expect from the troopers.

 

* * *

 

Hux found Kylo skulking about in his quarters, lurking in the dim light, mask and robes on. He said nothing, merely watched as Hux shrugged off his greatcoat.

 

“There’s no use looking at me like that. After the destruction of Starkiller base, the troops needed someone to blame and it couldn’t be me. You’re leaving to chase Skywalker again and I need them to follow my orders.” Hux folded the coat and left it on a chair by the bed. “Supreme Leader Snoke himself approved the plan. It was nothing personal, Ren.”

 

“Strange that you got so worked up by mere necessity,” Kylo’s voice sounded oddly neutral, oddly controlled, though perhaps that was merely the effect of mask.

 

“Tone is one of the most important tools that the orator possesses,” Hux said, paraphrasing one of his private tutors. “Strong words spoken without the proper force are ineffectual. It would be like if you went into combat and performed a perfect lightsaber kata as though you were still just practicing.”

 

“I don’t think that’s it. I think you’re still furious at the destruction of your precious base. I think you were actually attached to that technological terror.”

 

“Why don’t you just take it out of my mind if you’re so interested? Not that you’ve had much success at that recently,” Hux spat back.

 

“I don’t need to read your mind. You’ve just proved it.” Kylo pulled off his helment and stepped out into the light, his dark eyes shining – and not with tears. There was a delicate flush on his cheeks. “Admit it, you enjoyed it. You wanted your revenge and you took it.”

 

Hux took in the sight, gaze lingering on the fullness of Kylo’s parted lips. “Oh, I see how it is. You actually enjoyed that.” He shook his head. “You really are so much more depraved than even I can say.”

 

A smile, like brief burst of blaster-fire, flickered over Kylo’s face. “And now I have to leave but oh you wish I’d _stay_.”

 

“I think you may be projecting, Ren.”

 

“You didn’t mean what you said about my face,” Kylo stepped forward to brush his nose up against Hux’s. “You’re fond of it. You miss it when it’s beneath the mask.”

 

Hux brought his hand up to touch Kylo’s face, grabbing a hold of his jaw, stopping him from moving any closer.

 

Kylo was unphased. “Am I wrong?”

 

Hux let go of his grip but did not deny the allegation.

 

Kylo knelt down before Hux, hands reaching eagerly for the fastenings of Hux’s trousers. “You like the things I do with this mouth.”

 

“Disgusting,” pronounced Hux. “So eager to prove me right.”

 

Kylo gleefully pulled down the zip, freeing Hux’s cock. “Too bad you can’t include this in any of your speeches without implicating yourself.”

 

“As if I need to write another after I destroyed you this afternoon.” He buried his fingers in Kylo’s mess of dark hair, pulling his head back.

 

Kylo’s mouth dropped open, the slight curl of a smirk on the edge of his lips. “I’m not sure it was enough. They may have forgotten by the time I get back.”

 

Hux gave an irritated huff (it was too hard to punish someone who seemed to so thoroughly enjoy humiliation) and nudged Kylo’s head forward again. “Then earn your denigration.”

 

Kylo grasped Hux’s hips, pulling himself into position. He flicked his tongue over the head of Hux’s cock, his bottom lip brushing up against the underside, closing his lips around the tip.

 

Hux jolted at the contact. “Come on, stop being so coy, I know you can take more,” he said and was annoyed to hear his breath hitching a little as he spoke.

 

Kylo actually drew back, the tease!

 

“What are you waiting for?” Hux prompted.

 

“Could you…” Kylo started, biting his lip. “Could you say your speech again?”

 

Hux considered rolling his eyes but the thought was not unappealing, if only because he liked the sound of his own voice almost as much as Kylo appeared to. “You don’t deserve my full speech. However, there were…outtakes, shall we say. Lines that I had to cut because your conduct was far too disgusting to reveal in front of our men.”

 

Kylo nodded and darted his head forward, once again taking Hux’s cock in his mouth. 

 

 “Let’s see,” mused Hux, thinking of everything he might have wanted to say but couldn’t for the shame it would have brought upon himself. “When you left home, you assumed the robes of a knight, which you soon made a womanly one: at first that of a public prostitute, with a regular price for your wickedness. But very soon I stepped in and carried you off from your public trade, and settled you in a steady and durable wedlock. And so it became a wedding gown.”

 

He knew that Phasma probably would have killed him for the sexist remarks but they served their purpose well enough here as Kylo whimpered and took Hux’s length deeper into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of Hux’s hips and Hux just knew he’d have marks to show for this.

 

“How often have I had to turn you out of my quarters? How often have I had to place Stormtroopers at the door to prevent you from entering so I could continue my work in peace?” He’d never actually done such a thing but he’d definitely thought about it.  “You with night for your accomplice, lust for your encourager-” he started, before a broken moan escaped his lips.

 

Heat rushed to Hux’s face as Kylo trailed wetness over his skin, bobbing his head faster, making the most obscene popping sound imaginable. “Ah…” He had completely lost his train of thought now.

 

He closed his eyes and desperately strained to keep his composure, to remember how to speak under the onslaught from Kylo's mouth. “R-Remember that time when you lay weeping in my bed because you were unable to bear the misery of being separated from me, even for- oh fuck, oh Kylo.”

 

He came suddenly and soon the only sound was of the heavy rise and fall of his breath.

 

Kylo sprung up from when he had been kneeling and abruptly pulled Hux in by the collar, kissing him hard on the mouth. Their tongues brushed together and Hux could taste the salt slickness of his own come. He pulled back, his face pinching up.

 

Kylo cocked an amused eyebrow and swallowed. “There. Now you’re tainted too. Think of that next time you give a speech.”

 

Hux wasn’t sure he’d be able to think of anything else. “Enjoy your time in exile.” Not his best comeback but it would do.

 

“So eloquent, General,” Kylo teased. “I look forward to you receiving me on my triumphant return. I’m sure you’ll find a way to eat your words without losing too much face.”

 

Hux crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You should be more worried about defeating the scavenger girl. I’m not going to be there to drag you out of the snow again.”

 

Kylo took Hux’s hand and planted a kiss against the leather of the glove. “There’s no need to worry about me. The Knights will be there to help me and they are actually far more abstemious when it comes to alcohol than you would have the crowds believe.”

 

“I never said _I_ was worried,” Hux protested. “And what other explanation is there for the fact that they actually follow you?”

 

Kylo ignored his protest. “I’ll come back soon; in fact, you should probably start writing that speech now.”

 

“Are you or aren’t you leaving?” he snapped.

 

Kylo grabbed his helmet and shoved it decisively over his head, concealing his smirk once again. He left without another word. Hux almost wished that he really wouldn’t come back at all.

 

It was the almost that got him.

 

Notes

 

If you’re thinking that this fic was an excuse to dig out my dissertation (which was about Roman political invective as you might have guessed) and write Hux spitting Cicero-style insults at Kylo then…you’re exactly right. Writing this was entirely self-indulgent on my part. The idea was just consuming me and I just had to come up with a flimsy context to justify it and then it became smut/Hux having feelings he doesn’t know how to deal with *shrugs*. I really can’t take any credit for Hux’s speech – most of the phrasing is directly copied from various Cicero speeches (prizes to anyone who can tell which bits came from where).

 

As ever, any feedback is much appreciated! :)


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